EARL
NASH
>>>>> “ It’s news to YOU ! " <<<<<
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Describing the British
Foreign Office
tongue-in-cheek memo that was
leaked to the press, as a "low blow" to Pope Benddeceit, the Vatican
released his "OMG" agenda. Seeing a "WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?" bumper sticker on a car in Rome, the Pope had a revelation.
Here are his stunning "OMG" pronouncements:
* Reveal the
connections between the Vatican bank and organized crime and announce that all
the funds would be donated to AIDs projects globally, as penance for its
"no condom" policy.
* Announce that the Vatican would be sold to Donald Trump and become his new residence.
* Announce that
the Pope and all the Vatican bishops and clergy would take a vow of poverty
and humility and would be moving to a monastery.
* Announce that
celibacy for priests was no longer church policy and that is was also adopting
the original Mormon policy (as revealed to Joseph Smith) that a priest may take
many wives.
* Announce that
all the Vatican art works would be donated to major museums around the globe.
* Announce that
all the property owned by the church, worldwide, and especially in Manhattan,
would be sold and the money used to establish facilities to treat abused
children.
* Announce that the Vatican had documents that prove that Jesus survived the crucifixion and bore children with Mary Magdalene.
* Announced that Christ was not the surname of Jesus. Announced that the correct interpretation of the "Kingdom of God" is that it is "within" you, not "all around you."
* Announced that the Vatican officially recognizes the Gnostic gospels and will included them in the updated Bible, available on e-Books, Kindle and iTunes next month.
* Announced
that he was recommending that his successor be the last Pope and use his term
to complete the shut down of the Vatican.
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