Tongue in Cheek Blow to Pope - Red-faced Brits apologize for "low blow"

A brainstorming session on the Pope’s upcoming visit to England, went awry after a tongue-in-cheek memo was leaked to the press. A memo entitled, “The ideal visit would see …,” contained suggestions, such as naming a line of condoms

          "BEN-DA-DICT" CONDOMS: "Holy, not Holey!"

and establishing a “help line for abused children” was circulated within the Foreign Office, with a note of warning that some of the ideas were “far-fetched.” A public apology was issued to the Pope, by Britain’s ambassador to the Vatican.

The proposals, which were then circulated among key officials in Downing Street and Whitehall, also include the Pope opening an abortion ward; spending the night in a council flat in Bradford; doing forward rolls with children to promote healthy living; and even performing a duet with the Queen. In reference to the hugely sensitive issue of child abuse engulfing the Catholic Church, the Government document suggests that the Pope should take a “harder line on child abuse – announce sacking of dodgy bishops” and “launch help line for abused children.”’ [...]

“Further suggestions on the “ideal visit” list are that the Pope should reverse the Church’s “policy on women bishops/ordain woman” and that the Vatican should “sponsor a network of Aids clinics.”

In an attachment headed “social,” additional brainstorming ideas, include “bless a civil partnership,” “all Catholic schools should be free, entry for all,” and a “debate on abortion.”